Adair Duke

Slicker to hick.

Slicker to Hick Blog

MVV Awards

One thousand bucks bought it from a fabulous, feisty woman up the road. She gave me her business card, which read “Ranch Goddess.” She was selling because her husband had died and she just couldn’t keep up with all the chores 50-plus acres demand; not by herself. And the latest boyfriend hadn’t worked out, so she had decided at last to hire out all the land maintenance. She wouldn’t be needing the tractor anymore. Besides, she was going on a cruise in three weeks and needed gambling green.

LBT with CBD and ACD.

The ’76 Satoh Beaver tractor came home with us, along with a high-sided plastic trailer that hitches onto the back. This gem of a machine would turn heads if it ever went into town–partly because the Ranch Goddess painted it a light, bright blue. The Satoh is small, as tractors go, but powerful enough to have pulled a carelessly parked sedan from the mud. It also extracted multiple wooden posts set in concrete blobs from the ground where they were buried. Its main job recently has been to drag its trailer partner to the burn pile to dump countless loads of thorny briar vine. The Satoh is always referred to as “LBT.” (That’s Little Blue Tractor, for the acronym-impaired.)

Sharing Most Valuable Vehicle honors is a 1996 Mazda B4000 pickup truck that we call The Mule. It has hauled, hauled, and hauled–mainly furniture and all kinds of construction trash. It has the endearing quality of possessing an air conditioner that blows a refreshingly arctic blast. The fact that it’s street legal is another big plus. The Mule spent much of its early life in the city of the Red Sox and has the rust to prove it.

Note the dent that adds even more character.

It allowed itself to be fixed with a $3 bolt from Lowe’s when the stick shift came off in my husband’s hand. This little pickup is the toughest of cookies and you never have to worry about scratching the paint or cracking the windshield–these things have already been accomplished.

Join me in raising a cup of diesel to toast LBT and Mule, MVV’s of the year here at Wise Acres!

Attractive idea.

Direct email for ABC Graphics
To current accounts and prospects from Sales Manager/COO
Subject line: If you ask me. . .
Message:
Image credit Pixabay

. . .if you’re going to print business cards, why not print them as magnets? Join me as I channel Captain Obvious and list some benefits:

*Longer lasting. When was the last time you ruined a magnet by tearing or folding it?

*Visibility. Your magnet may not get stuck to the side of a desk, door jamb, or refrigerator, but the odds are astronomically higher than the possibility of a paper business card being taped to any surface at all. Everyone knows the desktop rolodex has cemented a place on the level red endangered list.

*Conversation extender. The magnet can buy you a little more conversation time. An opportunity to impress a business prospect with your forward-thinking wisdom and outside-the-box brain power. No reason why the same wouldn’t hold true for a romantic prospect. . . . Just a thought.

At ABC, our space-age digital and silk screening printing capabilities mean we can create the high-quality business magnets you need to set you apart from the paper-card crowd. And for lots less than you think. Call me at 555.555.5555 to discuss how ABC can deliver a better product than anything else you can get at an online outfit run by robotic elves. Or call me for romantic prospect advice. (Can you even say the words “pick up line” anymore??)

Boxing.

Direct email for ABC Graphics
To current accounts and prospects from Sales Manager/COO
Subject line: If you ask me. . . 
Message:
Image credit bruce mars at Pexel

. . . why not print at least your company logo on your shipping packaging?

An old, old-school Metroplex business genius liked to call a shipping box “four advertising panels that encase a product.” It’s some of the least expensive advertising you’ll do–no airtime, column widths, or speciality product to buy. Shipping packaging is an expense you already have, and printing costs are insanely affordable. (Especially insanely affordable at ABC Graphics, of course.)

Start with just your logo. Or even just your business name, in any font you’d like. I guarantee you’ll discover it’s worth the ink. And once you’re convinced this opportunity is too good to waste, call John (555.555.5555) or Jane (555.555.5555) here at ABC for some art that can easily elevate your shipping boxes, envelopes, or plastic sleeves into sales drivers.

Most liquor distilleries got this message long ago. Ever used an old vodka corrugated for a moving/storage box? I rest my case. (See what I did there?)

Call me at 555.555.5555 anytime to discuss how we can use your fixed operation expenses to drive sales. Or for the joke of the day, either one.

To film or not to film?

Direct email for ABC Graphics
To current accounts and prospects from Sales Manager/COO
Subject line: If you ask me. . . 
Message:
image credit rawpixel.com

. . .why chem film AND paint or powder coat on the same piece?

In almost every case, painting or powder coating the entire component will be significantly cheaper and provide the same amount of protection.

Pause for term clarification:

*Chem filming is a coating process that prevents oxidation and corrosion, usually on aluminum. It’s a more finished look than galvanizing. It provides the thinnest protection–product dimensions remain unchanged. If this is what you require, ABC has been chem filming for years and will continue to do so.

*Painting is the next thinnest coating. High quality paint (and that’s the only kind we use at ABC) will also prevent rust and corrosion up to a heat of 350 to 400˚F. Many moons ago, when calculators were a “gee whiz” item, computer components could get hot enough to melt paint; but in this day of smartphones and fitbits, this is no longer true.

*Powder coating is the thickest coating. A truly environmentally-friendly process, it emits no VOC’s (volatile organic compounds). An electrical charge holds paint powder on the metal to be coated. The coated piece is then moved to the oven where it bakes until done. And here, I point out that ABC has one of the biggest ovens in the DFW area. Hey–it’s not bragging if it’s true, right??

Bottom line: if you’re already painting or powder coating, you can save a percentage worth talking about by not chem filming also.

Call me (555.555.5555) or John (555.555.5555) anytime to discuss. . .or to make a lunch date. We like lunch dates.

Itsy bitsy.

Wanna rock a bikini that’s teenie weenie?

Snack on BRAMi beans lupini.

With zero net carbs and only 60 calories per 30-bean serving, BRAMi’s lupini beans are probably the real magic beans–at least when it comes to weight management. They fuel you without fattening you because they pack more protein than any other plant source on earth.

BRAMi lupini beans. The truly super superfood.

Ain’t misbehaving.

Holiday tradition.

Boney James with his version of “elf on a shelf.” Misbehavior results in a terrifying surprise visit from James for an attitude adjustment.

There goes Tokyo.

image credit Mikes Photos

Sonicare gives you movie star teeth. Without the monster price tag.

Begin brushing with Sonicare, and by day three, you can flash a set of choppers that gleam with measurably fewer stains. 62,000 brush movements per minute remove ten times more plaque than the old black and white manual toothbrush.

Sonicare toothbrushes start at under $40–isn’t that about the price of a date to the movies?

Sonicare. You do the biting, we’ll do the cleaning.

A modest proposal.

I want to marry you.

Tell me when and where, and what to wear. 

Pick a time and I’ll be there. 

Relaxed ceremony or formally regal–

My signature’s what makes it legal. 

Pastor Charles B. Duke

pastorcbduke@yahoo.com

817.821.6476

I do “I do’s.”